I wish I could pack my bags and bid this place farewell. I want to spend my life meeting new people, eating new foods, and exploring new sights. It’s not that I want to run away from here because that would be too easy, but I feel as if this place burdens me.
Too many promises made, hearts broken, and desires dismantled. Good things die here (and yes, this is a One Tree Hill reference). This place makes me feel so hopeless, and I feel as if I’ll never regain the confidence that I once possessed.
Perhaps I need to get away in order to appreciate this small town—the hospitality, cuisine, Southern air, companionship, and gossip. Then again, I want a clean slate. I want to feel renewed. I want to feel alive.
I sit for hours each day at my work desk pondering the idea of taking off on a whim. Anything is better than yearning to be outdoors, living life to the fullest, and not regretting a damn thing. Over the years, I have been fearful of looking back. Nowadays, I couldn’t care less.I’m okay being fearless and vulnerable (to a certain extent).
Before Sheena passed away, she told me to live life to the fullest, live by the seat of my pants, and love with all my heart. It wasn’t until recently that I started to embrace this bit of advice, and I am holding it close to my heart. I refuse to let work, school, finances, or personal drama stand in the way of achieving my sense of independence and adventure. For the first time in my life, I think Sheena would be absolutely proud of me. I am grateful for her sage advice, and my way of payment is to keep her spirit and carefree personality with me on each excursion. I miss you each and every day, Sheena.